The US government has a new website, http://www.ready.gov The fun thing is that these pictures are so ambiguous they could mean anything! Here are a few interpretations.

1. If you have set yourself on fire, do not run.

2. If you spot terrorism, blow your anti-terrorism whistle. If you are Vin Diesel, yell really loud.

3. If you spot a terrorist arrow, pin it against the wall with your shoulder.

4. Use your flashlight to lift the walls right off of you!

5. Michael Jackson is a terrorist. If you spot this smooth criminal with dead, dead eyes, run the fuck away.

6. Hurricanes, animal corpses and the biohazard symbol have a lot in common. Think about it.

7. Be on the lookout for terrorists with pinkeye and leprosy. Also, they tend to rub their hands together manically.

8. If a door is closed, karate chop it open.

9. Try to absorb as much of the radiation as possible with your groin region. After 5 minutes and 12 seconds, however, you may become sterile.

10. If you've become a radiation mutant with a deformed hand, remember to close the window. No one wants to see that shit.

11. If you are trapped under falling debris, conserve oxygen by not farting.

12. A one-inch thick piece of plywood should be sufficient protection against radiation.